Denial…”I’m not that out of shape!”

Denial…"I'm not that out of shape!"

One of the most common themes I’ve struggled with in my own life is the “I’m not really that out of shape!”  Yet I’ve taken the same 25 pounds off and on again for the past two decades…over and over and over again.  First, the clothes start to get a little tight, but I tell myself “I’m not really that out of shape”.  Feeling sluggish by 3pm becomes a daily occurrence and I add more caffeine and tell myself again “I’m not really that out of shape”. The stairs seem to make me more ‘winded’ each time I have to track laundry up and down but you know what? You get it!  So the imprints of these things start to affect me in a way that I start thinking I better do SOMETHING. So I get motivated. I decide on what  plan of attack I’ll take. I get to the gym, take a walk, eat better…do well, shed some pounds and start to feel BETTER!
                  But then something happens.  I get busy, stressed, start feeling selfish for taking ‘ME time’ away from my family and business and slowly slip into those old habits and the pounds come back again.

One of the ways we can combat this is to ask for support/mentorship. This past year my weight loss goals have been met and with relative consistency because of the help of a trainer and wellness coach. I’ve found that when I have more  ‘skin in the game’ I am more committed and I’m seeing longer term results and developing a healthy pattern of new behaviors.

                  The same is true of developing a healthy plan for your finances.

Many of us, me included, hit periods where we start ‘the plan’  to spend less and save more.  Commit ourselves to stop charging and start paying back on things we splurged on month’s ago.  How many of you are still trying to pay for Christmas ‘2014 or summer vacation from LAST year?  How many of you are still paying for your college education and yet haven’t seen the inside of a dorm room in nearly a decade? We get ‘on track’ but then something happens.  Not the normal ‘Oh no, Alex’s cleats don’t fit anymore and tryouts are next week!!!” OR “he’s turning 16 in two weeks and the driver training enrollment needs to be in NOW?!” type stuff. It’s more like this:  “I’ve cooked three nights in a row and no one wants the leftovers the heck with it, let’s go out!” OR “I can’t believe it, I FINALLY got a 30% off code at Kohl’s!”  and….. WE GIVE IN.  WE GET “OFF TRACK”.  We think, just like other struggle areas that “we are really not THAT bad‘.   But our perception is tainted. We look around and try to justify that ‘everyone’ does it. We tell ourselves that our kids need to have a better education than we did no matter what the cost. Our student loan feels like a family pet. We end up working harder &  longer, and many times in jobs that are unfulfilling and even stop believing that the life we dream about is even possible any longer.

   How would using a financial coach benefit you in the way a wellness coach benefited me?

  • Do you need help navigating through a financial crisis?  
  • Building a workable budget? And having an accountability partner as you learn your way?
  • Need help eliminating your debt once and for all? 
  • Learn how to deal with collectors? 
  • Establish a plan for retirement and college?

These are all areas of support where real guidance could make huge difference in the long term quality of your life!

A good financial plan starts with a BUDGET!

keep your eye on the ball

In order to achieve ANY goal you must have a plan. If you are going to teach your kids how to walk you don’t just tell them to run, you hold their hands and let them learn to take ‘one step at a time”. The first step in learning how to handle your finances is applying basic math. The second is learning how to budget!  Budgeting is a scary word for many people but it truly is basic math… MONEY IN/MONEY OUT.  If you chose not to look at the basics you CAN’T win with money.  Your family, your business should not be run like the Government! When you spend more than what you have you create a mess. You create a system of “borrowing to pay for not only the extra things you want like vacations, clothes, cars, dinners — Eventually you begin ‘borrowing to pay for basic necessities such as groceries, gas, cable, etc…. Eventually the stress and the pressure of continued borrowing steals our JOY! We find at this point that we are working for the past not our future.

Listen, we are all bombarded by marketing messages day after day that lead us to believe that ‘borrowing’ is normal. I pulled a stat last week that showed that Bank of America was spending $25million a MONTH to bombard us with internet ads! SICK!! We start to have the mindset that car payments is ‘normal’. That having a bigger house as long as you can ‘afford the monthly payment’ is living the American Dream. But without proper planning and a true strong hold on your spending and planning these things start to become the American Nightmare.  We can turn it around just by getting back to 3rd grade math (or in today’s society, Kindergarten math!) and by taking a REAL look at what is coming in and what is going out and making a conscious decision to NOT spend more. NOT to borrow. NOT to charge our lifestyle on a credit card.  Many of us have gotten bitten by this bug and many have had to ‘bankrupt’ their way out of it. Ok, done. NO REPEATS! But I’ve found that many of the people I have worked with and coached back to financial wellness had not changed the ‘behaviors’ that led to hitting the ‘restart button’ and kept repeating the same mistakes. It takes time to see that Bankruptcy (not medical related bankruptcies I’ll add) is not a cure it’s usually a symptom of other financial issues/behaviors that need fixing.  We learn quickly that we CAN’T Bankrupt our way out and many times find that even if we tried, we can’t get rid of past due IRS Debt, past due Child support, Past due Student Loan payments. So I’m here to tell you to focus on and to learn what you CAN FIX!

WE CAN FIX our lack of income, communication in marriage, spending habits. We can fix DOING something different. We can decide and learn to move differently, behave differently, and experience real change in this area of our lives.  If you would like help with budgeting and creating an individualized plan to walk yourself in a new direction, check out my coaching packages.